Q: “I have a delinquent son who I’ve advised many times…”

In the name of Allaah, the Most Beneficent, Most Merciful. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and companions. As for what follows;

[This is a question that was asked to Our Sheikh, Sheikh ‘Abdur Razzaaq al-‘Abbaad in a lecture that he delivered entitled ‘Raising children in Islaam’. Hopefully the answer of the Sheikh will assist all those parents who are in the same predicament. May Allaah grant us all righteous offspring. Aameen]

Question: “I have a delinquent son who I’ve advised many times however he counters the advice with insults and the good I do with mistreatment. What must I do with him being as though he will not accept anything I say to him?”

Our Sheikh, Sheikh ‘Abdur Razzaaq ibn ‘Abdul Muhsin al-‘Abbaad[1], may Allaah preserve them both, answers: “It is upon you to actualize the affairs that were mentioned in this talk. From them is that you supplicate to Allaah for him to guide him and that you fulfill that which is obligatory upon you regarding him which are: Advising him, giving him beneficial tapes or lectures to listen to or books to read, inviting him to some of the People of Knowledge and Virtue who will advise and instruct him.

Strive in cultivating him properly and raising him correctly. Carry out that which is incumbent upon you towards him and do not be negligent in this obligation. Do not give up or lose hope in the mercy of Allaah, it could be that Allaah guides him and opens up his chest to what is correct.

The affair is with Allaah. However it is upon you to beseech Allaah and beg him to guide your child while you are fulfilling that which you must fulfill. And if you feel that it will be beneficial to use certain legislated procedures like boycotting and not speaking with him as a disicipline then this is permissible. The People of Knowledge say that “boycotting is for deterrence.”

Meaning that it should be used for disicplining if you see that there is a benefit in doing so. The point is that you must fulifill what is binding upon you regarding your child and seek the assistance and aid of Allaah for indeed he is the Sole Assister.”

Footnotes:

[1] He is one of the professors in the Islaamic University of Medinah as well as a teacher in the Prophet’s Mosque. His father Sheikh ‘Abdul Muhsin al-‘Abbaad is also one of the major scholars that we have living in our time now. May Allaah preserve them all.

al-badr.net

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About Abu Fouzaan Qaasim
American student studying in the Islaamic University of Medinah from Chester,PA.

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