Love and Hate moderately Oh Muslims!

In the name of Allaah, the Great, Ever Powerful. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and companions. As for what follows;

May Allaah be benevolent to you the questioner Umm ‘Abdir Rahman from Yemen asks: “Is this speech from the ahaadeeth of the Messenger, may peace and blessings be upon him:

“Love the one whom you love to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be someone for whom you have hatred, and hate the one for whom you have hatred to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be one whom you love”?

Sheikh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, answers: “This has been reported as a hadeeth but it isn’t authentic[1] however its’ meaning is correct. It means that it isn’t befitting for an individual to go to the extreme in his/her love because it might come a day where he will have hatred for that person. And it is well-known that when a person loves someone to this extent he informs him of all his secrets and private affairs. So if it is decreed that one day he becomes someone hated unto him, that person will spread all his secrets and the like amongst the people.

Likewise, uncontrolled love usually leads to uncontrolled hatred because it necessitates one to become very sensitive about their loved one therefore becoming jealous if he sees anyone else with him or speaking to him and the like. So this love that he has will be like a leash. Hence due to the degree of his jealousy and passion for this person, it’ll turn into hatred and the opposite is also true. A person may hate someone uncontrollaby then the Turner of the Hearts, i.e. Allaah, turns his heart and thus he loves uncontrollably.

Therefore this is why it isn’t befitting for one to go to the extreme in their love or hate. If someone says: “a person cannot control his love or hate” meaning that he cannot lightnen his love for someone or raise it and that this is something of the heart the answer is that this is true. However he must reduce the factors of this love and hate whereas he doesn’t accompany the person all the time nor distance himself from him totally and everyone is capable of doing this. Also not exceeding the bounds in giving money to the one you love or giving him precedence over yourself, etc.

[1] This hadeeth has been collected by Imaam at-Tirmidhi and has been graded authentic by Sheikh al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi, may Allaah have mercy upon them all.

http://www.sahab.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=127986

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About Abu Fouzaan Qaasim
American student studying in the Islaamic University of Medinah from Chester,PA.

One Response to Love and Hate moderately Oh Muslims!

  1. syedmuzali says:

    as salaam alaikum, brother can you explain.

    “This has been reported as a hadeeth but it isn’t authentic[1] ”

    “[1] This hadeeth has been collected by Imaam at-Tirmidhi and has been graded authentic by Sheikh al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi”

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